Fuck the holidays!

Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Year’s — yep, it’s the ass-end of the year. And so, as we do each December, let us gather ’round the blazing log and salute the winter holidays with an upraised middle finger.

Fuck Hanukkah!

Light the fucking candles!

Fuck Christmas!

“Fuck carols and fuck Rudolph / And his stupid fucking nose”


Fuck Christmas baseball tee from Look Human.

“I Hate Your Family”! (Tripod)

“But when your family call / They shit me up the wall”

Hat tip: Lauren Gawne.

Merry fucking Christmas! (South Park)

Hat tip: Anne Gilson LaLonde.

“Merry Christmas (Says Your Text Message).” Be patient; it’s sweary.


Hat tip: Gretchen McCulloch.

Fuck you, Kwanzaa!

Fuck New Year’s Eve!

And while we’re at it, why not get a running start on Fuck Valentine’s Day?

10 thoughts on “Fuck the holidays!

    • Nancy Friedman December 4, 2015 / 1:25 pm

      Stockings hung by the motherfucking fireplace with care!


  1. Lael December 4, 2015 / 5:43 pm

    HA! Ass-End of the year. YES. I will be borrowing that descriptor.


  2. James Slick December 4, 2015 / 6:19 pm

    Fuck Kwanzaa, I don’t respect any “Tradition” that’s newer than both me and my fucking water heater!


    • Tim Gatewood December 5, 2015 / 7:01 pm

      Kwanzaa was created in 1965. How old is that water heater? Every tradition was new at some point. What you’re really saying when you disrespect Kwanzaa is “fuck you, black people” because that holiday was created to help them reconnect to their ancient traditions and to share some of that good parts of those with the rest of us. Would you say f you to any other religious tradition? If not, you’re just a racist prick.


      • James Slick December 5, 2015 / 7:38 pm

        Actually, Kwanzaa was created in 1966 by black seperatist/nationalist Maulana Karenga who in 1971 was convicted of torturing two women (Who were black,BTW…) and it’s not merely a “black” holiday, it’s a “black ONLY” holiday. A “white” or “white ONLY” holiday created in say, 1976 by a David Duke like Ku Kluxer would earn the EXACT same respect by me. If we were discussing a REAL African or Afro-Carribian holiday, that would be different. I note that you don’t object to “Fuck Christmas” or “Fuck Hanukkah” on this post. (and it’s a comedic post anyway…)

        BTW I’m “white” by looks but my father is “mulatto” putting me WAY above the “one drop rule…if you have to know) I supported MLK day (You know, a day to honor a a moral man who actually DID try to help ensure racial EQUALITY)

        My RUUD water heater is OE to my house, built 1945, being an over sized stone-lined tank with a seperate burner, no doubt helped. It’s not even close to a record, Even here in Pittsburgh there is one in use since 1931! (Ruud water heaters were once actually made in Pittsburgh)

        Modern thin steel walled tanks last from 8 to 15 years max.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. joydreamchaser December 15, 2015 / 2:08 pm

    so basically,this article is to let make ppl stop the rude words or…??


  4. Danni November 23, 2017 / 6:36 pm

    Merry xmas by the dragonettes- my fav new song! Catchy tune, great lyrics, definately should get air time!
    BTW, great site- I hate the holidays, but after listening to some great and funny songs am feeling better about starting my fucking day!!


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