It’s a couple of years since our last fuck shit stack of sweary songs, and almost five since we began this series at the Rotten Cocksuckers’ Ball. So it’s about fucking time we posted some more bawdy blues and mothercussin’ melodies.
Much of the audio below is NSFW, if that still means anything, but it straddles the range from super-profane to merely suggestive. Genre-wise it’s cheerfully all over the place, so if you don’t like one, try the next.
LaVern Baker and Jackie Wilson clearly enjoyed this party version of ‘Think Twice’:
I said you better think twice, Jackie
Before you call me a dirty ho
I’ve got news for you, little boy
Don’t fuck with me no mo’
Shit! Goddamn! Get off your ass and jam, Funkadelic style:
Motherfucker is consistently rated among the strongest swears in English, but The Eels, who like a girl with a dirty mouth – they know they can trust her – make the word sound positively sweet:
Or you might prefer its softer cousin butterfucker, from Butter 08:
Ethel Waters sings the praises of her handy man, with James Price Johnson on piano:
He shakes my ashes, greases my griddle,
Churns my butter, strokes my fiddle –
My man is such a handy man!
The innuendo continues in Lillie Mae Kirkman’s ‘He’s Just My Size’:
And in Arthur McKay and Roosevelt Sykes’s ‘She Squeezed My Lemon’, featured on volume 2 of The Copulatin’ Blues:
Volume 1 includes Georgia White’s vintage gem ‘I’ll Keep Sittin’ On It (If I Can’t Sell It)’, written by Alex Hill and Andy Razaf – about a chair, maybe:
Gwen Stefani’s ‘Hollaback Girl’ contains a few dozen shits:
Dapper chap Thomas Benjamin Wild has no more fucks to give:
(Family-friendly version here)
‘The Dickhead Song’ is a jolly putdown by Miles Betterman:
Summer sounds of Princess Superstar’s ‘NYC Cunt’
If you’ve always felt that crabs (yes, that kind) have been under-represented in music, may I direct you to Lords of Acid’s educational ‘The Crablouse’:
Here’s a message for the girls about vaginas
And the consequence of fiddling with a partner
Mind your labia – they’re never out of danger
If you’re gonna go to bed with a stranger
Creatures might be hidden in his pubic area
It’s the crablouse that’s out to get ya
It’s gonna grab you by the pubic hair
Shake your pussy when the bastard’s there
A catchy synthpop anthem by Stephen Paul Taylor, ‘Everybody Knows Shit’s Fucked’:
Indoor versions are available. Taylor also made a dance remix of the viral tweet ‘I Wonder What’s Inside Your Butthole’
The Staves are tired as fuck:
And finally, till next time, ‘Fuck All the Perfect People’, by Chip Taylor & The New Ukrainians:
Did you ever mention here The Yobs’ Twelve Days of Christmas? That’ll get you in the holiday spirit.
Thanks – I didn’t know this one. We’ve done a few sweary Christmassy posts, fwiw.
More on Thomas Benjamin Wild’s “I’ve No More Fucks to Give” in this Strong Language post from Jan. 2019.
I haven’t seen any of these posts, but will have to dive in later. meanwhile, it looks like you’ve missed this little gem: Derek & Clive – Jump you fucker jump! – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZEEgIti8sM
Warren Zevon bringing us a sweary classic