Frogshit

Paul Dickson wrote a great book called Family Words. He collects terms used only by a very small circle of people, like a family or group of friends. My favorite family word is, to put it mildly, total frogshit.

Frogshit is a synonym for bullshit used mainly by my friend John and a few other friends. Sometimes he actually sends me a picture of a frog pooping, but that’s a matter for the courts.

Frogshit is a natural coinage born in the rich fertilizer of slang. When you’re talking about bullshit, you can’t go wrong with any kind of shit. Of course, horseshit is also a tried and true term for nonsense or drivel. Before batshit took on an insane meaning, it was also a word for bullshit. This Oxford English Dictionary use shows that meaning was still around in the eighties:

1985   D. Koontz Door to December (1994) iii. xxii. 274   Why would men of science..associate with a purveyor of bat shit and bunkum?

The OED also includes several examples of dog shit as meaning “Rubbish, nonsense”:

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Sucking/eating a bag/bowl/barrel/bucket of dicks

Louis CK is such a great comedian that he can make a strong bit out of the smallest thing: a jar of duck vaginas, an imagined confrontation with a neighbor, or a suggestion from a stranger. I’m thinking of Louis’ bit about being told to “suck a bag of dicks.” Louis marvels at this wonderful idiom (“A whole bag of ’em!) while absurdly speculating on how one would go about actually sucking a bag of dicks. Oh, just see for yourself.

When I first heard this bit, it hit me right in the memory bone: I had heard a variation back in the Western New York region about 10 years ago or so. My friend Tricia was fond of proclaiming that someone–a jerk, natch–needed to “eat a bowl of dicks.” Turns out that version is fairly common too. In fact, earlier this year some University of Oregon campus police officers got in trouble for composing on ongoing “bowl of dicks” list that included Osama bin Laden, double parkers, and Cher. Since the list also included the immortal ABBA, it is obviously not an accurate account of whose diet is most lacking a round vessel of male genitalia.
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