Yes, 2020 has been a shitshow, but at Strong Language we still observe the niceties—or the naughtyties—of ritual and tradition. Here are gifts that evoke the spirit of the season and the whole fucking year.
Hearts, flowers, chocolate, candlelight, blah, blah, whatever. For some of us, February 14 is just a date on the calendar with the name of some obscure saint inexplicably attached to it, and “St. Valentine’s Day” is properly followed by only one word: “massacre.” Good news, though—thanks to the increasingly robust Fuck Valentine’s Day movement, we can spend our money just as recklessly as the roses-and-diamonds crowd. Fuck, yeah!