A sweary seasonal suggestion

British comedy singing group Fascinating Aïda have some wise words of advice for you this Christmas:

Lyrics below the fold:

Christmas comes but once a year,
And when it comes it brings good cheer:
A season of goodwill and fun.
And yet while most of us feel festive,
Grinches out there just get restive
And spoil it all for everyone.
Though it’s too much to expect you to be nice,
You’ll find that life is easier with this advice:

Try not to be a cunt – it’s Christmas.
Take a tip from Santa’s elf.
The rest of us are doing our best to be jolly,
So don’t go looking like you’ve swallowed a bunch of holly.
Don’t shout at carol singers and tell them to stop.
Don’t buy your presents from the Oxfam shop.
For fuck’s sake be merry, have another sherry,
And try not to be a cunt.
(’Cos Santa’s coming)
Try not to be a cunt.
(Look, there’s a reindeer.)
Try not to be a cunt.
C–U–N–T cuntidy cuntidy cunt.

You can hear more from Fascinating Aïda on their website and YouTube channel. For further saucy satirical cabaret check out Four Femmes on the Thames, and go here for sweary songs galore, and here for a fuck shit stack more of them.

8 thoughts on “A sweary seasonal suggestion

  1. Kate December 19, 2016 / 12:30 am

    Fascinating Aida also has good advice for cheap flights (feckin’ feckers) during the holiday season and for those who enjoy that peculiarly British sport of dogging.


  2. toukleytonic December 28, 2018 / 7:11 pm

    an Absolute delight. I saw them years ago and forgot their existence.


  3. Jason Coles November 30, 2019 / 6:20 pm

    i need the piano music how can i buy it ?


    • Shaun Goodrich December 18, 2019 / 8:29 pm

      Piano music please!!!


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